Baba-ji gave my husband the mantra “Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya” in the presence of a large sat sang at the Lal Kuthi. At the time he gave my husband diksha he said nothing to me, leaving me very sad. In 1973 on Baba-ji taking Mahasamadhi my mind was even more disturbed as to why he did not give me any mantra diksha.
In the early days I had already in my mind acknowledged Baba-ji as my Guru and had been very eager to receive diksha mantra from him. In those days Shri Ramlal Mahaprabhu’s student Yogsraj arrived in our neighborhood. He was a respected yogi and I knew him well. Not knowing that this was all His lila – that these doubts had been created in my mind, I went to the banks of the River Ganga in search of Yogi Chandra Mohan-ji and shared my anxiety with him. He said, “There’s no rush. Whenever your husband is ready to take mantra diksha from me I will give you both mantra. Husband and wife should have just one guru and take diksha from him.”
I returned home disappointed and restless. One evening in the month of Baisakhi I was lying on the charpoy in the yard in front of my house. The bhoota (ghost/goblin) of diksha was riding high in my mind. The issue of having one guru, was doing circles around in my head. I was unable to rest. It occurred to me suddenly… why not write down the problem and place it at Baba-ji’s feet? He would definitely solve my dilemma! I was up in a flash and looking for a notebook that was kept around the mandir. I wrote to Baba-ji, “Who is my guru?” and “What mantra should I japa?” I was convinced that I would have an answer soon. But the next day I was very disappointed. No response. That was on the morning of Guru Purnima. I was sad all day. In the evening I went to the local mandir – to do cleaning seva. I was there a short while when an old acquaintance Vakhil Sahib arrived holding an envelope. He said, “You have a letter from Kainchi.” I abandoned my cleaning and opened it right away.
In the envelope was a letter with two or three lines written along a small photograph of Shri Hanuman-ji. Written across his forehead was my mantra! It was the same one I’d done japa of while praying endlessly to Baba-ji asking him to give me diksha.
The experience of his kripa (grace) made me bow my head in reverence. My eyes filled with tears. I had made such a big mistake needlessly pursuing the mantra to the extent of going to someone who was not even my guru. Of course – it then dawned on me that Maharaji had accepted me as his shiskya and had forever given me a place at his feet.
Excerpt from Barefoot in the Heart: Remembering Neem Karoli Baba edited by Keshav Das
Help Support These Teachings
If you enjoyed A Letter from Kainchi, please support our efforts to continue making teachings from Ram Dass and friends accessible to all. As Ram Dass says, "When you see the beloved all around you, everyone is family and everywhere is love." Learn more >
I would like to make a contribution of:
Please do not use the back button or click submit more than once while your order is processing.
If you would like to donate via mail, please send a check to:
Love Serve Remember Foundation
2355 Westwood Blvd. #130
Los Angeles, CA 90064
LSRF is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. Contributions are tax deductible as allowed by law.