There are many stages of the process of transformation.
There is a stage where you feel something in you that is behind your social façade and your social relationships to people. You feel a somebody-ness which we call ‘soul’. Like you feel an entity. Then as you get deeper into the transformative work, that thing starts to dissolve. There’s no self; there’s no one. Then you see that there are just processes going on. There’s nobody there; there’s just these processes going on.
And then the question is, how do you incorporate that understanding into existence? How do you live with no continuity?
The continuity is the result of karma.
It’s the result that who you were started an inertial process that leads to you to be this person. But as your awareness is less attached to that. You’re just aware of processes, just as I’m aware of my body aging and decaying. I’m aware of my awareness getting lighter and less attached to my forms, I’m aware of personality processes. Old ones running off. I’m aware that when somebody comes up to me that is a strong symbol of this, or somebody that awakens this desire, the desire will arise or the reaction will awaken, but I can see it now almost in slow motion as just processes going on.
And all I end up being is just these processes
All the form of me ends up being just these processes. And behind it all there’s just awareness. Which is even subtler. See, there’s nobody there. There isn’t anybody here. And it’s so interesting because many of us can’t handle even imagining there’s nobody in there. We keep projecting our own solidity into everybody else.
So it’s very hard for me to convey to you the kind of nothingness that’s going on in here…and say to you that you just keep delicately approaching it, and just playing with watching the way in which you need that reassurance, and watching that need, and seeing that need as just a phenomenon that exists in the universe, lawfully existing.
Keep quieting the mind and deepening the connection to just that part of you that just is with it all, just the spacious awareness. It’s called spacious awareness. It’s the sky, just the sky.
1989 Summer Retreats – The Listening Heart – Selfhood: Spirit and Personality (Q&A) – Letting Go
Photo via Flickr